Thoughts Along the Journey

Amazed...

2012-01-05T13:31:00.000-05:00

Even though, in the midst of all my anxiety, I don't always "feel" His love...

I am still amazed that He loves me so much.

I am amazed by You, my dear Jesus!

Merry Christmas to All!

2011-12-24T19:45:00.002-05:00

And she gave birth to her first-born son and wrapped him in swaddling cloths, and laid him in a manger, because there was no place for them in the inn.

Luke 2:7

May the joy of that first Christmas fill your heart with great expectancy...as we await His coming again!

The Word for Today

2011-12-22T12:22:00.002-05:00

For God alone my soul waits in silence; from him comes my salvation. He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be greatly moved.
Psalm 62:1, 2

AGAIN?!

2011-12-21T12:59:00.001-05:00

Yes, I'm asking for your prayers again.

Having one of my worst days in a long time...worst weeks, actually.

It's not supposed to be like this! I am supposed to be brimming with joy and good cheer. We are about to celebrate our Lord's birth...and we are anticipating His return...

But there is no joy in my heart right now. Only great fear.

Lord, have mercy.

Advent Anxiety

2011-12-19T11:54:00.003-05:00

Most people worry over getting "just the right gift" or other Christmas preparations. For this anxiety-sufferer, it goes way beyond that. I worry about the gifts. I worry about forgetting to buy gifts. I worry about the trip to see family, and will the car be okay? I worry about how we're going to pay the bill for getting the car repaired. I worry about the weather. I worry about the list...have I forgotten to put something on it, so I won't forget to do something???

Do you see?

Advent is supposed to be a time of spiritual preparation. We are to take this four weeks and especially prepare, not only to celebrate Christ's birth, but, more important, prepare our hearts for His second return. (Let every heart prepare Him room!)

How can I do that when I am trapped in this misery of fear, worry, anxiety, doubt...? It's not impossible, but it is very, very difficult.

I will struggle through. Whatever you are facing, I pray that you will struggle through as well.

God bless.

Mary, Did You Know?

2011-12-18T12:11:00.000-05:00

"In the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent from God to a city of Galilee named Nazareth, to a virgin betrothed to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David; and the virgin's name was Mary. And he came to her and said, "Hail, full of grace, the Lord is with you!" But she was greatly troubled at the saying, and considered in her mind what sort of greeting this might be. And the angel said to her, "Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. And behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus. He will be great, and will be called the Son of the Most High; and the Lord God will give to him the throne of his father David, and he will reign over the house of Jacob for ever; and of his kingdom there will be no end." And Mary said to the angel, "How shall this be, since I have no husband?" And the angel said to her, "The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you; therefore the child to be born * will be called holy, the Son of God. And behold, your kinswoman Elizabeth in her old age has also conceived a son; and this is the sixth month with her who was called barren. For with God nothing will be impossible." And Mary said, "Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word." And the angel departed from her. Luke 1:26-38

When Mary said "yes" (her Fiat--"Thy will be done"), did she have any idea what she was saying "yes" to???

As far as tradition tells us, we gather that Mary grew up in a small town. Her family probably did not have a lot of money. It was a simple lifestyle, definitely not in the limelight of society. Yet she said "yes" to giving birth to the Son of God. Talk about a change of pace!

A devotional I read this morning emphasized that Mary was "full of grace". The Scriptures don't say she was "full of faith". But, trusting in God's goodness, she simply said "yes".

Without knowing our future, when God gives us direction, do we say, "Let it be to me according to your word." ??? Or do we want to know all the particulars? Do we want God to give us all the details before we will agree to following His guidance?

May we, with Mary, simply say "yes"...and acquiesce (submit or comply silently or without protest) to His will.

God Is Good!

2011-12-06T12:52:00.003-05:00

If you've been reading this blog for any length of time, you probably know quite a bit about me! My husband's cousin, Dawn, asked me to write something for her blog, "You Are Not Alone". Today's feature is our story.

You can check it out here, and learn a bit more about me...and God's great goodness to my husband and me.

REQUEST 2

2011-11-28T10:37:00.002-05:00

Asking for your continued prayers. I have a dr. appointment this Wed. In addition to the panic attacks/anxiety disorder, I suffer from white coat syndrome. (I get nervous when I have to take my kids to the dr., too.)

Please pray for me, friends. I want to be on the road to better things. This prison of worry, fear, and anxiety has held me captive for far too long.

God bless...

REQUEST

2011-11-23T07:34:00.002-05:00

Dear blog friends,
Please pray for me today.
The roller coaster has been in full swing for several days.
I long to be delivered from this prison of fear and worry.

Thanks so much...

Heroes of the Faith

2011-11-09T11:52:00.003-05:00

Our society calls people heroes for many reasons. Today, I'd like you to meet some heroes who are very close to my heart: Tricia and Emily. Tricia is my husband's cousin.

Rather than retell their story, please go to the link below. The blog is authored by another of my husband's cousins, Dawn. You will be amazed at God's sustaining power...

FOCUSED ON THEIR FAITH

Ahh, Fall!

2011-11-08T09:55:00.006-05:00

My husband and I have a favorite fall tradition: the fall drive. When we lived in the suburbs of Detroit, we would drive through Hines Park. When we moved to the Upper Peninsula, our drive of choice was along Lake Superior, ending at Tahquamenon Falls. If you've never been there--go! The drive along the lakeshore is incredible. I have pictures I could scan and post, but they don't really do it justice. (I got this picture from a website.)

When you arrive at Tahquamenon Falls, there are a few places you can view the falls (there are upper and lower falls). The beauty of it all is amazing. The drive back through the trees is spectacular. This is not a journey for the faint of heart, though. There is a long climb up and down stairs to get the best view. It's definitely worth it!

The one thing most people notice is the color of the water. It is an amber color. This is the result of leaching of tannic acid from the cedar and hemlock swamps that feed the river.

Anyway, I just wanted to share this with all of you today...and a reminder...

As you view the beauty of God's creation, and the detail with which He governs it all, remember: this is the same care He takes with the details of your life!

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UPDATE!

2011-11-07T15:08:00.002-05:00

DAD IS HOME!!!

Update on Dad

2011-10-29T21:26:00.002-04:00

Dad was transferred to a hospital closer to home this week. The plan is for his rehab to take place there. When the therapist did an evaluation, she said he could be out of the hospital within two weeks' time! Praise God! She added that it would take at least 6 months for him to get back to full strength. However, if you have ever had experience with stroke victims, you know this is truly an answer to our prayers!

Thank you for your prayers. Please continue!

Asking for Your Prayers

2011-10-22T16:14:00.002-04:00

I'd like to ask all my friends from blogland to please keep my dad in your prayers. He had a light stroke this past week. He has a long road of rehab ahead. Please also pray for my mom. This is going to be tough for her, too. And, of course, for our entire family. We are close, even though we live far apart.

What I Am

2011-10-12T16:14:00.002-04:00

What I Wish...

2011-10-12T11:57:00.003-04:00

This is how I want to live my life...singing in the rain...

Feast of the Archangels

2011-09-29T20:06:00.002-04:00

Today is the feast day of the archangels: Michael, Gabriel, and Raphael. If you want to read more about them, check here. Our family prays this prayer every day.

Saint Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle.
Be our protection against the wickedness
And snares of the devil.
May God rebuke him, we humbly pray.
And do thou, oh prince of the heavenly host,
Cast into hell Satan, and all the evil spirits
Who prowl about the world seeking the ruin of souls.
Amen.

Behold, the Wood of the Cross

2011-09-25T16:02:00.002-04:00

For blessed is the wood,
by which justice cometh.
Wisdom 14:7

Why???

2011-09-19T11:41:00.004-04:00

About fifteen years ago, Dr. James Dobson wrote a book called, "When God Doesn't Make Sense." For some reason, that title is sticking with me today. Because, truthfully, there are seasons in my life (and I'm sure you can concur) that God just doesn't make sense.

Personally, this is the situation. Just last night, I was taking a walk in the cool evening. The neighborhood was quiet, but there were occasional noises of children playing and neighbors in conversation. The smell of grill smoke floated through the air. There were people out strolling, walking their dogs, and jogging. It was a beautiful evening. I spent my walk reveling in the beauty of God's creation, humming a hymn we sang in church, and basking in the feeling of peace I had. I even reflected on the fact that it had been several days since the panic and worry had invaded my inner calm. I spent some of the walk thanking God for that gift. I had some moments of rejoicing in the new energy I've been feeling from my times of reading Scripture and prayer. It was a nice walk!

This morning...it all flooded back in. The cynic in me wanted to say, "So, God, is this how I'm rewarded for being thankful? This is what happens when I make strides in being faithful?"

The truth is, God hasn't changed. Just because my feelings have changed today, doesn't mean He isn't paying attention or that He doesn't care. That He has somehow taken a backseat in overseeing my life. It just means...it's time to battle again and rely on His grace and strength in a new way today.

Last week, a family lost a very small child in a horrible accident. I won't go into the details. But I do know that it wasn't God's doing. People would say, "He could have prevented it. He could have protected that little boy from the actions of another." Well, yes, He could have performed some type of miracle. But I also know there are effects caused by others' actions and there are things we all suffer because we live in a sinful world. Sometimes, the consequences are tragic. God is still there with that family, even in the midst of overwhelming grief.

Betrayal is not one of God's attributes. He never abandons us in the storm. He walks through it with us...even when we can't see or feel Him, He is there.

I may not understand Him or His ways...but He is still faithful.

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways,” says the LORD. “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts."

Isaiah 55:8, 9

(I recommend reading the entire chapter. A lot of good stuff in there!)

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Memories of 9/11

2011-09-10T11:53:00.005-04:00

When I was a kid, I would hear adults talk about "Where were you when...?", usually in reference to the day President John F. Kennedy was shot. Since I had not been born, it was really hard for me to grasp the significance of that question and the answers that followed. The day of the assassination attempt on President Reagan, I got a bit of a glimpse into the magnitude of such an event. (I had just come home from school, turned on the TV, and saw the coverage, as the shooting had occurred just moments before.)

But nothing prepared me (or anyone else in our country--or world, for that matter) for September 11, 2001. It is etched in my memory forever.

We were living in northern Michigan at the time. My husband, who pastored a small church there, had left for Missouri two days before, as he was taking a week-long class down there. That Tuesday morning, I drove our oldest son to school--his second week of kindergarten had just begun. After returning home, I got busy with the usual "mom work" of the day (laundry, caring for our 2 yr. old, etc.). I didn't usually turn on the TV, but decided to turn on the CBS Morning News. A reporter was standing in the foreground, with a burning building behind him. He was letting everyone know that, just a few minutes before, a plane had struck one of the towers of the World Trade Center in New York City. I remembered there had been a bomb there a few years before. I immediately called my husband. He was staying with my cousin and her family. When she answered the phone, I said, "Do you guys have your TV on?" She said no, and wondered why I asked? I said, "I don't really know what all is going on, but a plane just hit one of the big buildings in New York. Something is really wrong."

She put my husband on the phone. As we began talking and speculating about what could be happening, we saw the second plane hit the other tower. To say we were shocked is a major understatement. Then, of course, this was followed by reports of other plane incidents. Later, all airports in the country would be shutdown, as authorities were trying to prevent any more crashes from occurring.

As soon as we hung up, the phone began ringing. People from our church were calling, crying, asking what we should do. It was determined very early on that we were going to have an all-church prayer meeting that night.

What I wanted to do in the midst of all that chaos: go to the school and get my young son, and have him home safe and sound with me. Just huddle in our little apartment, away from the awful events occurring around us. I also wanted my husband home, but that wasn't possible. What I really did: left my son at school--away from the turmoil, and happily oblivious in the midst of kindergarten life--while I sat in front of the TV for hours on end, crying and praying, and trying to make sense of what was happening.

Our church prayer meeting that night opened with my husband calling, and praying for our nation and church via the telephone. It was quite comforting to know that similar prayer meetings were taking place all over the United States, and literally around the world, as other nations joined to pray for us.

I have seen websites and blogs today, in which the bloggers and writers clearly state: We will never forget or FORGIVE. I cannot echo that sentiment. No, I will never forget. That day forever changed our nation and the way we view our national and personal security. It reminded us all that "we never know when the end will come," so we should make the most of every day. It was a wake-up call: never fail to tell your family members how much you love them. It was also a reminder that we need to pray.

But not to forgive? To me, that is, in essence, giving up. It is as if we are saying, "Evil will always prevail, and I don't have to forgive anyone who does me wrong." I believe that things can change, and that GOD always prevails!

The key is that we, as a nation, cannot stop praying! The time for prayer didn't end when the search for the lost was called off at Ground Zero. It didn't end when a memorial was set up in Pennsylvania. It didn't end when the Pentagon was repaired. It won't end until Jesus returns.

Today, I pray especially for those left behind. For the children growing up without mothers/fathers. For the spouses left behind to raise children alone. For parents who lost children. For coworkers who will forever wonder, "Why was I late (or sick) that day, and wasn't at my desk when this all transpired? Why me?" For friends and neighbors who lost people very dear to them. For the FDNY and New York police department, which both suffered astounding losses. The list goes on and on. I pray for them all.

And I pray...never again, dear Lord. Please, never again.

He Puts a Song in My Heart

2011-09-08T13:56:00.004-04:00

We sang this hymn this morning at church. The title is "How Can I Keep From Singing." If you're not familiar with it, the hymnal says it is a Quaker hymn attributed to Robert Lowry.

In light of yesterday's post, and another post from a few weeks ago, I was just amazed at how perfectly this hymn fit!

Verse 1: My life flows on in endless song; above earth's lamentation.
I hear the real though far-off hymn that hails a new creation.

Verse 2: Through all the tumult and the strife, I hear that music ringing;
It sounds and echoes in my soul; How can I keep from singing?

Verse 3: When tyrants tremble, sick with fear, and hear their death knells ringing;
When friends rejoice from far and near, how can I keep from singing?

Verse 4: The peace of Christ makes fresh my heart, a fountain ever springing.
All things are mine since I am his; how can I keep from singing?

Refrain: No storm can shake my inmost calm, while to that rock I'm clinging.
Since Love is Lord of heaven and earth, how can I keep from singing?

(I found a few other versions, but this is the one in our hymnal.)

So, no matter what storms or disappointments we face, since "Love is Lord of heaven and earth," how can we keep from singing???

*Note: If you want hear a beautiful choir edition, here is a YouTube link.

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Disappointment That Does Not Destroy

2011-09-07T11:42:00.004-04:00

In some of my more reflective moods, I ponder some of the disappointments I have faced in life. What I consider even more deeply, though, is how those disappointments have shaped the woman I have become. The disappointments range from simple childhood issues to life-changing moments as an adult. I'm sure you can relate. Life isn't all rainbows and flowers, is it?

One incident that comes to mind occurred while I was in college. I was privileged to participate in three missions trips with our denomination's youth ministry. Each year, we formed a choir, and sang songs we had learned in Spanish. The leader of these trips would choose one of the students to be the choir director. After the first trip, I had entered college as a music major. Prior to the second trip, one of my friends encouraged me: "They'll certainly ask you to be the choir director on this trip. You're a music major, after all!" Honestly, I hadn't even really thought about it. But those few words put the idea into my head, which I dwelt on until I was convinced she was right. You can imagine my disappointment when a high school student was chosen instead. I had already spent a whole year of college feeling quite inadequate in comparison to the dozens of music majors I had met. This was kind of the "straw that broke the camel's back" in regard to how willing I would be to participate in campus music for quite some time. After all, the ministry leaders from my own home state knew me, knew my abilities, and obviously saw that I greatly lacked in talent.

I do have to say that my home church pastor encouraged me to use my gifts, though. In fact, during that same summer, he was put in charge of the music for a community-wide church event. He asked me to sing several songs as the "special music" portion of the service. I practiced and practiced. I invited my cousin to sing a duet with me on one song. We even bought matching dresses to wear! The day of the service, we showed up early to set up, only to discover there was no sound system. Therefore, no way to play our background music (cassettes, of course...). My brother-in-law offered to go to our church and bring back a sound system, but the pastor in charge refused. "Music isn't necessary, and we just don't have time." If the other disappointment was a straw, that was a whole wagon-load of hay on this little camel's back!

(I'm not sharing all of this to get your sympathy. What I most desire is that as you read my little sob stories, you will be remembering similar events in your own life.)

Those were temporary setbacks, however. Passing moments that, in retrospect, became learning moments...times of growing and learning to just "get over myself".

There have been some "big" disappointments in my life. One of the most prominent in my memory are the many years we spent hoping for a child. Day after day of praying, crying, and begging God to have mercy. The lesson I learned from this, after torturing myself for so long: let it go, and just trust God. We did eventually have two wonderful sons. I realize this is not always the outcome for childless couples. But I do have to say, I think the years of struggle truly came from God. At times when I am so tempted to just totally "lose it" with my kids, God reminds me very clearly of the years of longing. Talk about putting things in perspective!

So, you may be asking yourself, what is the whole point of all this "sharing" you're doing???

I truly felt led to post all this today. I have the feeling the Holy Spirit is walking some of you through some trying times. Maybe someone you love very much has disappointed you. Maybe you have depended on a job or family situation working out in a certain way, and it ended in the exact opposite manner you expected. I don't know what you're facing. What I do know is that, in spite of disappointing circumstances, or people who have let us down, God is still God. He is still in control.

British author Eliza Taylor once wrote, "Disappointment to a noble soul is what cold water is to burning metal; it strengthens, tempers, intensifies, but never destroys it."

In the words of Job: "But He knows the way that I take; when He has tested me, I shall come forth as gold. My foot has held fast to His steps; I have kept His way and not turned aside. I have not departed from the commandment of His lips; I have treasured the words of His mouth more than my necessary food."
(Job 23:10-12)

The lesson God wants to teach us all, no matter how big or small the disappointments we are facing, is that, when we hold fast to His ways in spite of "life"...we will become a stronger, more holy person. The fires of life burn out the inconsistencies, selfishness, pettiness, and whatever else is "dross" in our lives.

St. Paul said it best in Romans 5: "And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us." (vs. 3-5)

We need to let the hard times of life form us into His image. We will come forth as gold, and reflecting the character of the Lord more and more. Let Him wrap you in His mantle and carry you through, dear friend.

SIF--Scripture I'm Feeling

2011-09-03T13:49:00.002-04:00

But now, thus says the LORD, who created you, O Jacob, And He who formed you, O Israel: “ Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; You are Mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, Nor shall the flame scorch you. For I am the LORD your God, The Holy One of Israel, your Savior; I gave Egypt for your ransom, Ethiopia and Seba in your place. Since you were precious in My sight, You have been honored, And I have loved you; Therefore I will give men for you, And people for your life. Fear not, for I am with you...

Isaiah 43:1-5a

*If you want to read the entire passage, go here.

Monday Musing

2011-08-29T14:16:00.007-04:00

Then Jesus said to His disciples, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me. For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it. For what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul? Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul? For the Son of Man will come in the glory of His Father with His angels, and then He will reward each according to his works.
Matthew 16:24-27

What does it mean to "take up my cross?" What does it mean to lose our life for His sake?

It means to embrace whatever comes into our lives and bear it through the grace He gives.

Embracing a cross is painful. There are all those splinters and things, you know? But since He did that for me, how can I do less for Him?

Saturday Scripture

2011-08-27T11:50:00.002-04:00

"I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called, with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love, endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace."

Ephesians 4:1-3

LIF--Lyrics I'm Feeling

2011-08-25T14:59:00.000-04:00

I know the traditional is "Lyrics I'm Feeling Friday"...but this is my Thursday edition! :o)

One of "Those" Days

2011-08-25T08:22:00.009-04:00

Would really appreciate your prayers today, bloggy friends. Today is a struggle.

"And He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me."
II Corinthians 12:9

I can't say I feel much like boasting today. I really do need His strength, though.

The Road We Each Travel

2011-08-24T11:30:00.005-04:00

I have been experiencing some real "poor little me" days lately. In addition to dealing with the anxiety issues, there was the humbling "head in the toilet" day on Sunday (I do hate having a stomach bug!) and the resulting days of recuperation. Nothing can take my mood down like being sick. (I often feel guilty, but that's for another post.)

Then, as often happens, I received a phone call. Someone I have known for many years recently lost one of their parents. But there was more to the story. I won't go into the details here, to protect privacy, but it's just a really sad situation.

And I'm dealing with what? Anxiety?

I have another friend who is dealing with the loss of a child. About 1 1/2 years ago, one of her children committed suicide. She is trying to return to a "normal" life...which will never be normal again.

And I'm worried about "what??""

Another friend is experiencing complete helplessness as they watch a relative die of a cancer found in the late stages. This friend is a healthcare professional and knows many doctors who could have helped, if the cancer had been found earlier.

And I'm in a panic over some insignificant little daily life issue?

The truth is, we all have a different road to walk. The even greater truth is that God gives us each what we need to walk our road. Grace for each step, and each breath really is available for every single one of us. The key is accessing that grace.

Romans 5:1-5 says, "Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us."

Those words give me such hope! I especially take note that we can "glory in tribulations" because of what they produce in us: some amazing spiritual fruit (perseverance, character, hope).

No matter what road you are walking today...God is walking there with you.

As always, please feel free to leave a comment or prayer request. The beauty of this life is walking alongside each other and encouraging each other on the journey.

Grace for the Next Breath

2011-08-20T16:15:00.001-04:00

You ever have one of those days when it seems you need grace for each and every breath? A new infusion of the Holy Spirit for the next millisecond?

It seems as if, from the moment I decided to bare my soul on this blog, Satan has been working overtime to make me regret it. The roller coaster has gone from fear, to guilt, to embarrassment, to discouragement, to rare moments of rejoicing... Truth be told, though, the down times have been winning against the up times.

I know that the "weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds". I know that God is greater and bigger than all of the shame--yes, shame--I feel for what I suffer. (I am a Christian, right? Not supposed to worry, fear, or doubt?!) But sometimes the knowing doesn't get from my head to my heart. There's a disconnect somewhere between having the Scriptures revolving through my mind and actually walking it out.

If you read my previous post, you may think I'm repeating myself. But this is really a different matter. This isn't about struggling one day and relying on my feelings to gauge where I am with the Lord. This is about beating myself up (not physically--mentally) for not being the overcoming, victorious, conquering Christian I have been taught to be.

And to be honest, even though I know we've been made more than conquerors (and that we have the victory through Christ), I also understand a deeper truth: that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death, if, by any means, I may attain to the resurrection from the dead. (Philippians 3:10, 11) It is a true statement that our suffering is a means to redemption. What I mean is that through our sufferings, we draw closer to our Lord, as we identify with Him in that way. And, of course, suffering can serve as a flame does to gold: a purifying, refining process.

It's just that sometimes, I wish those flames weren't quite so HOT...

One Step Forward...Two Steps Back

2011-08-17T10:13:00.002-04:00

This is often how my emotional and spiritual journeys feel. For instance, I'll have a really good day. Not worrying. No nagging, heart-pounding, adrenaline-rush, mind-spinning moments. And I'll think: "Wow! I'm doing so well. Maybe I'm past all this anxiety and panic attack nonsense." Then, I'll have one or two nights of less-than-refreshing sleep (read: insomnia or just waking up way too early in the morning), and the nagging, heart-pounding, adrenaline-rush, mind-spinning cycle floods in like a tidal wave. Rats.

Or, on the spiritual side of it, I will have a day of feeling so deeply intimate with the Lord and sensing the presence of the Holy Spirit in an almost physical sense, He's so close. And I'll think: "Wow! This is awesome! I feel so close to the Lord. I feel like I could move mountains today!" Then, the next day will be a day filled with feeling like God is trillions of miles away and doesn't hear a word I pray.

This is why we can't rely on our feelings. Because no matter what I am experiencing, God is still God. He hasn't relinquished His throne, power, or authority to anyone. He is still the same God who gave His only Son to die for me. He is still the same God who promised to never leave or forsake me. He is still love.

"Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. He who does not love does not know God, for God is love. In this the love of God was manifested toward us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through Him. In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another."
I Jn. 4: 7-11

So, even though I feel quite a bit like Chicken Little today...I have to admit the sky is not really falling. And God is still in control.

The King Will Greatly Desire Your Beauty

2011-08-13T19:39:00.006-04:00

Listen, O daughter, consider and incline your ear; forget your own people also, and your father’s house; so the King will greatly desire your beauty; because He is your Lord, worship Him.
Psalm 45:10, 11, NKJV

This afternoon, I read an article titled, "A Reflection on Beauty: God's Chosen Gift to Women", by Jennnifer Hartline. You can read the full article at the link above. The summary is this: women desire to be thought of as beautiful. Any woman who disagrees with that statement needs to look at the reality of our world. The millions (billions?) of dollars spent each year on clothing, shoes, accessories, makeup, facelifts, botox, etc. etc. etc. are a clear picture of what women are looking for. They want to be viewed as beautiful.

I am very aware of the fact that the most beautiful part of a woman is supposed to be her heart. Her spirit, beaming through her face and actions. (I Timothy 2:8-10 and I Samuel 16:7) The outward appearance is not what is most important. A truly beautiful woman is one who reflects the love of Christ to all around her.

And the two are connected. I know some women at whom the "world" would look at as plain, homely, unattractive, overweight, etc. Yet they are the most beautiful women I have ever met. Why? Because they are true to who God made them, they rejoice in who He is, and they allow Him to live through them.

In the article, Mrs. Hartline said she asked her husband what he thinks a woman most wants her husband to think of her: that she is intelligent, or that she is beautiful?

It is true that I would not have married my husband if he thought I was an imbecile. True enough. But what I most long to hear (with love in his eyes) is when he looks intently at me and says, "You are the most beautiful woman I know." THAT is what I want to hear! THAT is what makes me feel secure in my relationship with him.

So, even more than that, I want to hear my Lord say that I am beautiful in His sight.

This passage in Psalm 45 gives us clues about the "how to" of it all: "forget your people and your father's house; and the king will desire your beauty." (RSV) When our eyes are focused on nothing more or less than our Lord, that is when we become like Him, and the more we become like Him, the more beautiful we will be.

Maybe I'm not conveying this too well. But I can guarantee that the majority of women will relate to what I'm saying. And as much as we want our husband (boyfriend, etc.) to think we're beautiful, even more do we desire God to think of us as beautiful.

How do I get there?

As I allow Him to begin breaking each link of the chains that hold me captive, He will make me more beautiful...

In response: "because He is your Lord, worship Him." (Or, as the RSV says, "Since he is your lord, bow to him.")

It comes full circle: I submit to Him, He makes me more like Him, I am seen as beautiful in His eyes, and I worship Him...which makes me more like Him!

So the question I must ask this evening is, "Lord, do you think I'm beautiful?"

**Additional note: the book cover seen above is a book I read several years ago. Well worth your time. You can purchase it from CBD at this link.

When the Waves Roll In

2011-08-08T13:08:00.002-04:00

Now in the fourth watch of the night Jesus went to them, walking on the sea. And when the disciples saw Him walking on the sea, they were troubled, saying, “It is a ghost!” And they cried out for fear. But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, “Be of good cheer! It is I; do not be afraid.” And Peter answered Him and said, “Lord, if it is You, command me to come to You on the water.” So He said, “Come.” And when Peter had come down out of the boat, he walked on the water to go to Jesus. But when he saw that the wind was boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink he cried out, saying, “Lord, save me!” And immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and caught him, and said to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” And when they got into the boat, the wind ceased. Then those who were in the boat came and worshiped Him, saying, “Truly You are the Son of God.”
Matthew 14:25-33

This is one of those amazing stories in the Bible. A storm. Jesus walking on the water. Peter walking out to Him. Peter seeing the storm and calling out to Jesus for help. Jesus rescuing Peter from the waves. And the declaration by the disciples: You are the Son of God.

It's so easy to shake our heads at Peter and think, "You were a fisherman! Why would you be afraid of the storm? You must have gone through dozens of storms during your career. Why were you afraid of this one?"

I think it's a matter of perspective. True, Peter was used to storms. But he was used to weathering them in a boat! There was certainly a sense of security about that small wooden vessel. Directing the sails and working to guide his boat to safety would have allowed him some control, albeit very miniscule in comparison to the fury of a storm.

I often wonder how it is that the storms of life distract me so easily. I've been through many storms. Why do certain ones cause me such anxiety? And after I have passed through them, look back and think about the circumstances, I see that this particular storm was often small when compared to others I have experienced. I'm not sure why that is?

I do know that one constant has not changed: Jesus is in the storm with me. He has already "walked out onto the water" ahead of me. When my eyes begin to see the waves and wind instead of the One who walks with me, He still reaches out His hand to pull me into the safety of the boat.

One step at a time. One storm at a time. I hope to learn true trust. And to be able to recognize that He truly is the Son of God...

Casting Crowns - Praise You In This Storm

2011-08-04T19:29:00.000-04:00

For those who suffer from anxiety, depression, the loss of a loved one...whatever storm you are walking through today...praise Him in the storm.

"But He knows the way that I take; when He has tested me, I shall come forth as gold." Job 23:10

Tim Hawkins- Old Rock Star Songs

2011-08-03T15:09:00.002-04:00

I love Tim Hawkins, and wanted to share this with all of you! Humor is often an amazing healing agent.

The Whole Point

2011-08-02T13:28:00.002-04:00

The reason I began this blog so very long ago was to journal our family's faith journey. Then it became a bit more devotional in nature, as I shared Scripture and occasional insights into things I was learning from God.

With yesterday's post, I have opened a whole new can of worms, as it were. Baring my soul like that did not come easy. I truly sensed that I am not the only one with these struggles, and there are others out there who may need to read this. If I can help someone else along the way, then the purpose of this blog will be realized.

God bless, friends. God is good...all the time!

Chains of My Own Making

2011-08-01T22:05:00.004-04:00

I'm about to get very real in this post.

I battle with panic attacks. I'm not sure when they began. I know I had moments of "foreshadowing" when I was a kid. I had a pretty secure life, so those times were few and far between.

One of the worst episodes was when I was a small child. We had gone camping in the Rockies. At one point, we planned to leave our camper/trailer behind for a day and drive to a different area. For some reason, that trailer was my security--home away from home, if you will. Leaving it there scared me. I curled up in the floor of the car (days before seatbelt laws) and refused to look out. My sisters tried everything they could think of, but I was not to be swayed. I wasn't okay again until we got back to the trailer that evening.

That's probably one of the most extreme examples from my childhood. I didn't really have major battles with this until I was an adult. Faced with the uncertainties of new jobs (especially after being fired for the first time) were especially daunting. As I've grown older, the "list" of things that set me off are numerous. And embarrassing.

After all, I've been a Christian most of my life. I should be at a place of peace and trust in God that allows nothing to penetrate it. Trials and even simple events of daily life should simply bounce off me, as I bask in the truths of God's provision. Right? Wrong.

It is a prison I long to escape. For someone who has never experienced the anxiety, sensation of not being able to breathe, heart-pounding, mind-racing, feeling-like-I'm-going-crazy world of panic attacks...well, it's hard to comprehend, I'm sure. To try to explain it is really difficult, and almost impossible. And the older I get, the harder it seems to battle.

But it cannot be oversimplified. "Just pray more, Joni." I have never prayed more than when I'm experiencing the overwhelming fears of a panic attack. "Read your Bible more." Okay. True. But that alone will not drive the anxiety away.

And the list goes on and on. Very well-meaning people who love me and only want to see me set free from this prison. But who really don't understand.

Is this simply a cross I must bear? I honestly don't know the answer. I do know that I serve a big God. I do know that I will not stop praying for Him to heal me. I do know that some day, whether here or in heaven, I will be set free from the chains that bind me in such gripping fear.

I don't know what chains you have to deal with, friend. Pray for me. And I'll pray for you.

Tomorrow's Manna

2011-07-30T11:40:00.003-04:00

"Give us this day our daily bread..."

I pray the Lord's Prayer every day, sometimes two or three times during the day. Our readings in Mass over the past few weeks have taken us through the book of Genesis, and then on into Exodus. The story of God providing manna is so incredible. I mean, who but God would think of sending His people bread from the sky? Yet it did not come without guidelines. They should only take enough for each day. More would come tomorrow. Only on the day before the Sabbath were they allowed to store extra manna for the following day. Otherwise, the manna would rot and be filled with worms. And then God brought it all home to me...

The fact is, I am a worrier. There are many factors that go into that. Often, a lack of sleep is the cause. Sometimes it is circumstances that take me out of my comfort zone (read: areas that I can control). Sometimes it is hormonal in nature. But whatever the cause, I go into panic mode. What if...? Fill in the blank. If it's a situation in my life, I will probably find a way to worry about it.

And what does this have to do with manna?

The Lord showed me that worry is like being a disobedient Israelite: trying to take tomorrow's manna instead of just dealing with today's needs (manna). And it does to my emotions and inner person just what that extra manna did. It causes my "today" manna to be eaten up by tomorrow's worries and fears.

When Jesus taught us to pray for "our daily bread" that was what He was trying to teach us, too. Don't worry about tomorrow's provision. Pray for what you need TODAY.

And, ever faithful, He will indeed provide today's manna.

Quick Post

2011-07-15T11:33:00.003-04:00

I have every intention of returning to blogging. Facebook is great, but my contention that it is less time-consuming than blogging doesn't hold water. It's too easy to sit for long periods of time, scrolling through status updates, looking at friends' pictures, etc. A few minutes on a blog post is nothing compared to that!

The only problem I've noticed is that, no matter how often I post...not much readership. Oh, well. I'll take what I can get! :o)

Signs of Life

2011-05-01T19:26:00.001-04:00

My tulips have finally bloomed!

David Wilkerson

2011-04-28T11:08:00.006-04:00

I learned the news of David Wilkerson's tragic death last night. He and his wife, Gwen, were involved in a headon collision with a truck. Gwen was injured as well.

David Wilkerson's life touched so many different people, from so many walks of life. He is best known for his book, "The Cross and the Switchblade," which told the story of his journey to New York to work with young men and women in street gangs. The ministry that grew out of that experience, Teen Challenge, has touched the lives of men and women around the world. My husband used to work at the Teen Challenge in Detroit, where we personally saw the life-changing message of the Gospel work in the lives of people who were addicted to drugs, alcohol, and whatever else Satan who ensnare them with.

More recently, our oldest son began an interest in the book, and the life of Nicky Cruz. He is currently reading Nicky's book, "Run, Baby, Run". The power of God to set captives free...

I am so thankful for that day when David Wilkerson said "yes" to the promptings of the Holy Spirit, took steps of faith outside his comfort zone, and allowed God to minister the love of Jesus through him to hurting souls.

Truly, this is what Easter is all about. The power of the resurrected Christ, working through obedient vessels, to help mend broken vessels...

I am so thankful for the testimony of David Wilkerson's life. May it be the testimony of our lives as well, friends. That we were obedient, and allowed God to use us in His ways.

***If you would like to see his last blog post (he posted it just yesterday), here is the link:

David Wilkerson Today blog

Easter, 2011

2011-04-24T11:37:00.001-04:00

"He is not here; He is risen, as He said." Mt. 28:6

Holy Thursday

2011-04-21T09:05:00.004-04:00

"Now before the feast of the Passover, when Jesus knew that his hour had come to depart out of this world to the Father, having loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end. And during supper, when the devil had already put into the heart of Judas Iscariot, Simon's son, to betray him, Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into his hands, and that he had come from God and was going to God, rose from supper, laid aside his garments, and tied a towel around himself. Then he poured water into a basin, and began to wash the disciples' feet, and to wipe them with the towel that was tied around him." John 13:1-5

Notice that Jesus washed the feet of ALL the disciples. Even Judas, who had thirty pieces of silver rattling in his pocket. Even Peter, who would soon deny even knowing Jesus. All of them: each who would run in fear when He needed them most.

He took servanthood to a whole new level. And they would never forget His example.

A Return

2011-04-07T21:38:00.002-04:00

Will post more on my lenten thoughts soon. My kids are on spring break, so I'm focusing on my time with them. God bless!

Second Sunday of Lent

2011-03-20T21:29:00.003-04:00

"But Jesus came and touched them, saying, 'Rise, and do not be afraid.'" Matthew 17:7

When He touches us, we have no need to be afraid. Yes, He is the Lord of all creation and the Ruler of the universe. And yet, we have no need to be afraid. For He is the One who became man, was tempted "in all ways, even as we are tempted, yet without sin," and suffered and died for us. We have no need to be afraid.

The Feast of St. Joseph

2011-03-19T17:56:00.000-04:00

Lent, Day 11

2011-03-19T17:50:00.003-04:00

"...and all who heard Him were astounded at His understanding and His answers." Luke 2:47

Lent, Day 9--St. Patrick's Day

2011-03-17T15:44:00.003-04:00

In lieu of my daily Lenten posts, I invite you to learn more about St. Patrick.

Click this link to Learn About Saint Patrick!

Lent, Day 8

2011-03-16T18:00:00.004-04:00

"...at the preaching of Jonah they repented, and there is something greater than Jonah here." Luke 11:32b

What does it mean to repent? Many people think that by saying they're sorry, the issue should be closed. I said it, so that should end it. Not exactly. Because sometimes we say we're sorry for the wrong reasons. We got caught. We don't want someone to think poorly of us. We want the "bad" situation to be done and over with, so just say "sorry". To try to lessen the uncomfortable feelings that come with whatever we have said or done.

The right reason--and true repentance--is saying, "I'm sorry" with a heart that longs to change. To have a true desire to never do the wrong again. To undo the damage as best we can...to make amends. To restore relationship.

The story of Jonah is full of comparisons between Jonah and the people of Ninevah. Most people know the story: God called Jonah to preach in Ninevah. Jonah ran the other way. Fish swallowed Jonah. Jonah said he was sorry for disobeying. Fish spit out Jonah. Jonah preached. The citizens of Ninevah repented in sackcloth and ashes. God spared them from His judgment. Jonah pouted! So was Jonah really and truly sorry for not having gone in the first place? I'm not sure. It seems that he almost hoped they would NOT repent, so he could see God bring some type of disaster upon Ninevah and punish them.

Amazing, isn't it, that Jesus uses those same Ninevites to show His own greatness? If those wicked people could repent at the preaching of the reluctant prophet, how much more should the people of Jesus' day repent at the preaching of the Son of God? Wow.

And this is where we stand today. If a wave of repentance could sweep through the populace of Ninevah, what is stopping us from bowing our heads and hearts and allowing the Holy Spirit to sweep us clean?

Today is the day of salvation. Today is the day of grace. Let us respond with hearts ready for change!

Lent, Day 6

2011-03-14T21:12:00.008-04:00

"Whatever you did for one of these least brothers of Mine, you did for Me." Matthew 25:40

Just a brief note tonight, as the day has almost gotten away from me.

If we read this entire passage (Mt. 25:31-46), it can seem a bit of a mystery. Sheep? Goats? And what does that have to do with feeding hungry people, visiting the sick, and going to prisons? I think it can be summed up this easily: If we want to truly be followers of Christ, we will show our faith by our actions!

Look around you: who are the "least"? And what can you do for them that will truly show them Christ?

"Jesus, teach me to be generous with all the riches you have given me. Show me how to share them with the poor in my midst--even in my own home. Lord, I want to become like You!"

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*check out the website for Operation Rice Bowl for ideas on how you can help "the least"

First Sunday of Lent

2011-03-13T14:50:00.008-04:00

I'm experiencing quite a mixture of emotions on this day, March 13, 2011.

First, the joy of having been at Mass this morning. Today was the Rite of Sending, in which we send those preparing to be received into the Catholic Church to our cathedral in Cleveland for the Rite of Election. It reminds me of the day 4 years ago when we attended the rite, shortly before our family's reception into the Catholic Church. A very special day, and exciting to see the hundreds of others who were on the same journey.

Today was also the sort of "prologue" for our church's annual mission services. Each year during Lent, a special speaker comes and conducts the mission services. The purpose is to encourage our parish to pursue our mission: living as God's people and reaching our community for Christ. Our speaker this year is Fr. Damian Ference, who teaches at the seminary in Cleveland. He is a man filled with energy and a passion for Christ. The words he spoke this morning rang so true: Satan's lure to us is to make us self-centered, rather than God-centered (I'm paraphrasing).

The other emotion I'm feeling today is one of melancholy. Today would have been the 44th birthday of my friend Denise (see previous post ). Denise and I became friends in Bible college back in the late 1980's. She was one of the best friends I ever had, and we had some really fun-filled times together. In fact, the first date I went on with my now-husband--Denise was on, too! You see, it was "Spinsters' Spree"--the girls did the inviting. She and I double-dated with two guys named Keith! We went to Branson, which was in its pre-every-celebrity-owns-a-theater days. We all played putt putt golf and ate at a small diner-style restaurant. It is a memory I will cherish forever. So much laughter! (Where but in Branson, heart of the Ozarks, will you find a mini-outhouse as part of a putt putt golf course?!) Other memories of her I will always cherish: working together in music theory class under the close eye of dear Sister Swaim (musician extraordinaire). Ministering together on the streets of Springfield, Missouri, as part of the street witnessing team. Singing together in oratorio choir, as well as taking part in the many recital groups. Laughing until our sides ached, as we sat on her pink bedspread (always pink for Denise!) or my blue comforter (always blue for me!).

One of my favorite memories was the weekend her twin sister, Erlene, and her younger brother, Bruce, came to visit campus. It was kind of eerie to me, how much Denise and Erlene looked alike!Same laugh, same smile... Yet, there was always the difference of clothing (always purple for Erlene!). I need to dig out the pictures from that weekend. It was a blast!

Best memory of all, though: just having her as a friend, and someone whom I never doubted when she said, "I will pray for you." She meant it with all her heart. Prayer warrior is one of the attributes she was definitely known for. Oh, and the all-night CMF prayer meetings! Having the chance to be in her wedding...and me wearing a PINK bridesmaid's dress, of course!

As I said, today would have been Denise's birthday, as it is today Erlene's. However, Denise's battle with brain tumors ended just a few short years ago on March 24, 2006. This is her brother's poem, which he posted on Facebook recently. It gives you a glimpse into the battle she fought. If you can't access it, let me know. I can re post the text here. Anyone who has watched a loved one battle cancer will be able to relate to his poignant words.

In summary, this is a reflective day for me. Reflecting on God's grace "in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Reflecting on my sinfulness, and thankful for that grace! Reflecting on happy memories of a dear friend. Reflecting on the brevity of life. Rejoicing in the privilege of having known Denise and having shared her friendship...a rare and shining gem.

God bless, dear friends. And happy birthday to Erlene...I know this is a joyful/tearful day.

Saturday, March 12

2011-03-12T15:03:00.004-05:00

"He said to him, 'Follow Me.' And he left everything, and rose and followed him." Luke 5:27

There are so many things we can learn from today's Gospel reading in Luke 5:27-32. I'll do my best to walk through it slowly here.

First, Levi (Matthew) was a tax collector. This meant that, though he was Jewish, he was an employee of the Roman government. Tax collectors in those days were wealthy men. Not that the government was such a generous employer, mind you. The main reason was that the collectors would collect the necessary tax required by the government, but then also add an extra toll for their own pockets. (Remember Zacchaeus?) So, for obvious reasons, the general Jewish populace did not have much regard for the tax collectors. Jewish they might be by birth, but the others saw them as traitors.

Yet, Jesus chose him as one of His followers. Just as surely as He called Andrew, Peter, James, and John...He CHOSE Matthew. The lesson to learn here? More than one, I'm sure. One I see is that God loves us, no matter how heinous our sins may seem to society. His love and His grace are able to set us free so completely that we will "leave everything, rise, and follow Him."

Matthew's response is amazing, isn't it? He left all. Wow. He walked away from certain wealth to...what? Follow this Man...to where? Wherever He went. Again--wow!

We see a parallel to what Zacchaeus did, too. Matthew gave a great feast for Jesus. Who else did he invite? Well, the only other people who were his friends: tax collectors. This is a great picture of what happens when someone has been changed by grace. They want others to have the same experience!

Well, then the Pharisees come along in their robes of righteousness, always judging everything Jesus does. How could he stand to eat with these totally unholy people? Tax collectors, sinners, and such, oh my! I do love Jesus' answer to them:

"Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick; I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance." I'm sure that was one of those "you could hear a pin drop" moments in time. Ouch. To paraphrase, Jesus was saying, "You Pharisees think you are righteous, and in no need of forgiveness. I will not waste my time feasting with such. These men know they are sinners. They want to spend time with Me. That's why I'm here. To offer them forgiveness and new life."

What's interesting is to go beyond this passage to the next few verses. The Pharisees quickly changed the subject from "who" He was feasting with to the fact that He was feasting at all. Why aren't Your disciples fasting? Way to take the focus off yourselves, guys!

Okay. Now to the point of this post!

Lent is a time of fasting, repentance, drawing closer to the Lord, and allowing the Holy Spirit to do the soul inspections we so desperately need. How do we respond? Do we "leave all and follow" and then make a way for others to learn how to do the same? Or do we look down our noses at those we deem "less holy" and preen in our own self-righteousness? For example, would we stand in line to make confession, wondering what we will ever say, because, really, our sins aren't that big, and we're sure that the guy ahead of us, who has been in the confessional for a very, very long time must have sinned more grievously and have much more to confess. So of course, we don't want to bore the priest with our piddly little problems. Hmm.

What I really love about Lent is the opportunity to really "come clean" with God. To allow Him to purge me of all the stuff that clutters up my spirit and stands as a gulf between me and Him. To shake loose the things that have so easily ensnared me so that I may once again run the race unhindered and unfettered.

Let us call out to the Author and Perfecter of our faith, and let Him do the housecleaning necessary, so that we may more easily set aside "everything" and follow Him without hesitation.

Today let us make this our aim: To pray for those whom others condemn.

And So, We Pray

2011-03-11T12:07:00.001-05:00

Taking a break from my Lenten posts today, to urge everyone to pray for the people of Japan. Also, for the safety of those in Hawaii, Alaska, and the entire west coast of the United States.

May God watch over them, protect them, and sustain those who have lost loved ones and homes.

Another Time, Another Lent

2011-03-10T10:47:00.006-05:00

"Then He said to all, 'If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow Me.'" Luke 9:23

As anyone who has read my blog for very long knows, our family has been on a spiritual journey for several years. We first became familiar with Lent back in 2002. We had never practiced this in our former denomination, so it was very new to us. Honestly, I did not like the somber, minor key music very well. And boy, did I get tired of hearing about sin and repentance! We couldn't even say "Allelluia" for the entirety of Lent. What a downer! But I do have to say, when Holy Week came, and we celebrated Maundy Thursday and Good Friday, and then...Easter...what a difference! I felt so much more ready to celebrate! My sins are forgiven because of the cross! I have victory because of the empty grave! Being able to say "Alleluia" again had even deeper meaning.

One of the things I like most about Lent (and there are many now) is Stations of the Cross. Every Friday, we have a time of remembering the Lord's progression from his betrayal, to the condemnation to die by Pilate, through each phase of Christ's journey to the cross...including His death and burial. It is powerful. Why? Because it is such a vivid reminder of the price of sin. My sin. Your sin. The world's sins. It is humbling to know that something we have done 2000 years later caused the suffering He endured. Yet He did endure, and willingly.

Yesterday, I watched a live broadcast of Pope Benedict XVI's Ash Wednesday Mass in Rome. This holy man, servant of God, allowing one of the cardinals to sprinkle the ashes on his head. The sign of repentance. A man who knows he has great responsibility and authority, yet knows he is a sinner just like the rest of us pilgrims. A humble man. A great leader because of his humility and acknowledgement of his need for repentance.

As we journey toward Easter, let us take every opportunity to allow God's Holy Spirit to do His work inside our hearts--examining, illuminating, convicting. And let us respond by repenting and allowing His grace to restore us and draw us ever closer to the Christ who died for us and rose again.

"Jesus, I believe that you are Lord! I choose to follow you and hold fast to you this Lent! Help me to be faithful to this choice in all that I do today."

Ash Wednesday, 2011

2011-03-09T09:31:00.005-05:00

"'Yet even now,' says the Lord, 'return to Me with all your heart, with fasting, with weeping, and with mourning. ad tear your hearts and not your garments.' Return to the Lord, your God, for He is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and abounding in mercy...Blow the trumpet in Zion; sanctify a fast; call a solemn assembly;gather the people. Sanctify the elders; gather the children, even nursing infants." Joel 2:12-13, 15-16

And so begins another season of Lent.

There is often the question of "why does a priest smear ashes on your forehead"? It is a beautiful reminder that we are "but flesh"and, as the priest says upon imposing the ashes, "you are dust, and to dust you will return." We are fallible human beings in need of a Saviour. Yes, the ashes are not simply a smudge. They remind us of our need to repent.

Our assistant priest, Fr. Mike, encouraged us with this morning to make this Lent a season of becoming less selfish and more selfless.

So, if someone asks me what I'm "giving up" for Lent this year, I have my answer. Yes, I will eat less "junk". I will spend more time in prayer. I will fast, with the goal of drawing closer to God and becoming more like Him. But what am I giving up???

Me.

That's what I long to give up. With John the Baptist, I would decrease so that Jesus may increase. That others may see Him, and not me, in all my human-ness.

God, give us a blessed Lent.

"Lord, the trumpet has sounded, and I want to respond. Help me to rend my heart this Lent, so that it can be filled anew with your love and your Spirit."
from Five Minutes with the Word

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Ready for Another Lent?

2011-03-08T11:24:00.003-05:00

Today is what is commonly known as "Fat Tuesday" or Mardi Gras. Tomorrow is Ash Wednesday, the first day of Lent. For those of you from a non-liturgical background, this may all seem a bit foreign. I was raised in that type of background, but have learned a lot in the past few years.

As I've said in previous posts, too many people have such an inaccurate view of Lent, what it means, and what it's all about. The simplified explanation is this: We spend 40 days (not counting Sundays) of fasting and abstinence, as we imitate the 40 days of fasting Christ spent in the wilderness. These 40 days should be used to prepare our hearts for Holy Week, Good Friday, and, ultimately, EASTER! The whole idea of "giving up" something for Lent is this: anything that is a distraction, stumbling block, or barrier between my Lord and me is something that needs to go! These are 40 days that should be used for reflection and drawing closer and closer to God. It's not like making a New Year's resolution. It's all about growing into a deeper relationship with the God who gave His Son to die for me, and who raised Him from the dead to give me victory over death and sin!

Some dread this time of year. It is actually a time to be embraced! God loves us and so desires for us to have more intimate communion with Him. I have several friends who do not attend liturgical churches, but still go through Lenten practices for this very reason.

God bless us all, and give us a wonderful Lent.

In Memory, Part 2

2011-03-06T20:36:00.002-05:00

To you, Denise. Our loss was heaven's gain.

Tribute to Denise from a previous post...

Where Have I Gone???

2011-02-06T18:59:00.003-05:00

Not to worry! I still occasionally stop by to see comments, etc. Sorry I haven't posted in such a long time. Between work, church activities, teaching piano lessons, and trying to keep up with a 6th grader and a freshman...life is crazy! I have great respect for parents of 3+ children, as I have a hard enough time managing to follow my two around!

Stop in and leave me a comment, bloggy friends...I miss hearing from you all!

Lyrics I'm Feeling

2010-10-08T12:01:00.002-04:00

The words to this song are amazing. I know so many people who are going through incredible trials. And yet, His grace is greater!

There Is Nothing Greater Than Grace

.

Back for a Moment

2010-09-23T16:21:00.001-04:00

Wow. It seems like forever since I've taken a trip into blogland. I have all these "followers"...and I'm not even sure who most of them are! Hmmm.

To my "true blue" readers...I'll try to be more faithful, and not wait two months to post again!

In the Shadows...

2010-07-20T15:47:00.004-04:00

I have been faithfully reading all the comments on my previous post, and pondering all the words of wisdom. Thanks to everyone who has responded!

Right now, it feels like I am in the midst of Psalm 23:4...the valley of the shadows. Sometimes the darkness threatens to overcome me.

Yet, His rod and staff comfort me. My Good Shepherd has not left my side.

Thanks be to God...

I Welcome Your Thoughts...

2010-05-25T15:03:00.003-04:00

What does it mean to truly trust God? Is it the absence of all doubt? Is it to be completely void of all fear?

And how does one get to that place????????

Feelin' That Spring Fever!

2010-04-29T11:45:00.004-04:00

I'm loving those warmer temps...balmier breezes...

Now if it will just stick around for more than one or two days in a row!

Just Because He's So Wonderful...

2010-04-27T11:05:00.007-04:00

Lord Jesus,
grant that I and my spouse may have a true
and understanding love for each other.
Grant that we may both
be filled with faith and trust.
Give us the grace to live
with each other in peace and harmony.
May we always bear with one another's
weaknesses
and grow from each other's strengths.
help us to forgive one another's failings
and grant us patience, kindness,
cheerfulness
and the spirit of placing the well-being
of one another ahead of self.

May the love that brought us together
grow and mature with each passing year.
Bring us both ever closer to You
through our love for each other.
Let our love grow to perfection.

Amen.

http://www.catholicdoors.com/prayers/english/p05290.htm

Resurrection!

2010-04-05T16:23:00.002-04:00

He is risen! Alleluia!

Good Friday

2010-04-02T10:41:00.003-04:00

Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends. John 15:13

To What Am I Bowing?

2010-03-19T11:33:00.003-04:00

I get these great daily devotions for Lent from Christianbook.com. If you want to sign up, the link is here. Today's edition is from a book called "Lent and Easter Wisdom from G. K. Chesterton." It really spoke to me, as I hope it will speak to your heart. An idol is not necessarily something carved out by human hands. It's actually more: something carved out by the human heart.

American Idols

Idolatry exists wherever the thing which originally gave us happiness becomes at last more important than happiness itself. Drunkenness, for example, may be fairly described as an engrossing hobby. And drunkenness is, when really comprehended in its inward and psychological reality, a typical example of idolatry. Essential intemperance begins at the point where the once incidental form of pleasure, which comes from a certain article of consumption, becomes more important than all the vast universe of natural pleasures, which it finally destroys.

Lunacy and Letters

Have You Not Understood?

To whom then will you liken God,
or what likeness compare with him?
An idol?--A workman casts it,
and a goldsmith overlays it with gold,
and casts for it silver chains.

As a gift one chooses mulberry wood
--wood that will not rot--
then seeks out a skilled artisan
to set up an image that will not topple.

Have you not known? Have you not heard?
Has it not been told you from the beginning?
Have you not understood from the foundations of the earth?
It is he who sits above the circle of the earth,
and its inhabitants are like grasshoppers;
who stretches out the heavens like a curtain,
and spreads them like a tent to live in;
who brings princes to naught,
and makes the rulers of the earth as nothing.

Isaiah 40:18-23

Prayer

Lord, my idols are all dead things. They are not living; they cannot act. How do I forget that so easily? Yet they promise to comfort me, Father, when I am afraid, lonely, or dejected, because I can see them. I cannot see you, God, and so I easily lose faith. I instinctively turn to something tangible. O Lord, have mercy on me. I believe; help my unbelief.

Strange Stuff

2010-03-17T09:23:00.000-04:00

Is anyone else getting a load of unsolicited "anonymous" comments on your blogs? I have comment moderation, but still! I had 11 new comments today...and only one was even close to legitimate.

Ugh!

.

I, Like the Thief

2010-03-03T09:44:00.003-05:00

I got this in a daily devotional for Lent. Just had to share it!

Five years ago I came to believe in Christ's teachings, and my life suddenly changed; I ceased to

desire what I had previously desired, and began to desire what I formerly did not want. What had previously seemed to me good seemed evil, and what seemed evil seemed good. It happened to me as it happens to a man who goes out on some business and suddenly decides that the business is unnecessary and returns home. All that was on his right is now on his left, and all that was on his left is now on his right; his former wish to get as far as possible from home has changed into a wish to be as near as possible to it. The direction of my life and my desires became different, and good and evil changed places...

I, like that thief on the cross, have believed Christ's teaching and have been saved. This is no far-fetched comparison, but the closest expression of the condition of spiritual despair and horror at the problem of life and death in which I lived formerly, and of the condition of peace and happiness in which I am now. I, like the thief, knew that I had lived and was living badly. I, like the thief, knew that I was unhappy and suffering. I, like the thief to the cross, was nailed by some force to a life of suffering and evil. And as, after the meaningless sufferings and evils of life, the thief awaited the terrible darkness of death, so did I await the same thing.

In all this I was exactly like the thief, but the difference was that the thief was already dying, while I was still living. The thief might believe that his salvation lay there beyond the grave, but I could not be satisfied with that, because besides a life beyond the grave, life still awaited me here. And I did not understand that life. It seemed to me terrible. But suddenly I heard the words of Christ and understood them, and life and death ceased to seem evil, and instead of despair I experienced happiness and the joy of life undisturbed by death.

~by Leo Tolstoy

Grace and Mercy

2010-02-23T10:43:00.003-05:00

This is going to be one of those "stay with me, and we'll get to the point eventually" posts.

Last month at Generations of Faith (church function), we were focusing on the Lord's Prayer. The part that God was really speaking to me about was "Thy will be done." We took some time in the church to just meditate and pray, and spend time listening to God. My eyes fell on the nail piercing the feet of the Christ on the crucifix. And the words, "GRACE AND MERCY" were spoken to my spirit over and over. Because, truly, that is what the cross was about. And truly, it is God's will for us. It is His desire that we share that grace and mercy with all around us...anyone our lives touch.

Fast forward to yesterday's grocery trip. I had been up the night before with a sick son. I had been at work all day, picked up my other son from school, taught a piano lesson, and now it was time to hit Wal-mart. Then I would head home to fix supper. It had been a long day already! I was in the meat department, waiting as others made their selections. I have to admit I was not feeling very patient at all. One man in particular was taking quite a bit of time. Inside, I was thinking, "It's just meat, mister. Just pick out something and move along!" And then...

Then he turned, and I realized that this man was moving slowly for a very heart-wrenching reason: one leg was missing from the thigh down. Let me tell you, friends, it was all I could do to keep from totally breaking down right there in that meat aisle. And the words from a few weeks ago came slamming back into my heart: GRACE AND MERCY! I will also admit that I spent some extra time in that very spot, repenting of my own obvious lack of both grace and mercy.

But the truth is, I should have felt those things no matter if that man was 100% whole and healthy, or whether he was crawling on his hands and knees, or whatever!

Because when Christ was on the cross, His grace and mercy had no conditions and no boundaries. As a follower of Christ, mine shouldn't have conditions or boundaries, either.

I am so thankful for His forgiveness and unlimited grace and mercy!!!!!!!

.

Lent, Day 3

2010-02-19T22:14:00.005-05:00

This time last year, I was on top of this blogging thing. I actually did a "post a day" for the entire season of Lent...with only a couple of exceptions. This year...sorry...no daily posts. For one thing, I'm working more hours than I was last year. And truly, life just seems to be more hectic...if that's possible!

As this holy time approaches each year, I try to prepare myself in prayer. It seems there is always at least one "big" area God wants to deal with in my life. This year, however, it seems there are a plethora of areas! One of the biggest things is that He is reminding me not to get too comfortable in this world. Our time here is too short, there is too much to be done for the Kingdom, and the things of the world will only weigh me down. (see 2 Timothy 2:4)

And God reminds me not to be conformed to the world, but to be conformed to His image...to allow myself to be conformed to His death and resurrection (dying to self, living to God):

"I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God. For I say, through the grace given to me, to everyone who is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think soberly, as God has dealt to each one a measure of faith. (Romans 12:1-3)

^"and be found in Him, not having my own righteousness, which is from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which is from God by faith; that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death, if, by any means, I may attain to the resurrection from the dead." (Philippians 3:9-11)

"For our citizenship is in heaven, from which we also eagerly wait for the Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform our lowly body that it may be conformed to His glorious body, according to the working by which He is able even to subdue all things to Himself." (Philippians 3:20-21)

As I've said before, Lent is not so much up "giving up" something, but more about "giving in" more and more to God.

There is no resurrection without there first being a cross...

Just as Jesus' 40 days in the wilderness were a time of preparation, so are the 40 days of Lent a preparation in my life. Just as He faced temptations, I too will face temptations... May I come forth victorious, as my Lord did!

Another Great Nephew...

2010-01-22T16:33:00.002-05:00

Isn't he the cutest???

Announcing...

2010-01-19T16:47:00.004-05:00

The newest movie by the makers of "Flywheel," "Facing the Giants," and "Fireproof." The new movie is called "Courageous." You can check out the information on it at the following website: Courageous the Movie I can't wait to see it!

I am so impressed by the way this congregation pulls together in prayer and produces such amazing movies. May God continue to bless them as they endeavor to reach the world with the truths of the Gospel!

Announcement links

Controversial Video

2010-01-15T16:49:00.000-05:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f5TE99sAbwM

I welcome your comments...

Another year passed...

2010-01-09T14:27:00.003-05:00

On Monday, I will again have one of those frosted marvels with fire hazards on top (aka, birthday cake). :o)

It's hard to believe another year has gone by...so much seems to just fly right by me. My kids are growing up so quickly. A few more months, and "Harry" will be in high school! And my "baby" will be heading into 6th grade. The past year has been full of wonderful things: trips to see family and friends, new babies added to the family, etc. But there have been the very sad times, too: the loss of loved ones (or helping friends through the loss of their loved ones), medical diagnoses that friends/family received, and the list goes on.

Through it all, though, the one thing that shines through most brightly is God's abiding presence. I am so thankful that He is always faithful. I couldn't rejoice as greatly without Him. I couldn't make it through the tough times without Him. Thank You, Lord, for Your great love to me!

For those who have continued to pray for Fr. Joe, I wanted to give you an update, too. He is greatly improved, and planning to be back "full time" sometime in February or early March. A wonderful bit of news is that we now have an assisting priest on a full-time basis. Fr. Mike came to our parish just last week. For that we are truly thankful!

And in the words of Fr. Mike, I would like to encourage you all to make this your New Year's resolution: Let Jesus show!

God bless...

To All My Blogging Friends...

2009-12-23T19:40:00.002-05:00

I know this is a couple of days early, but I wanted to make sure to tell all of you Merry Christmas!!!!!!!!!

A Lovely Christmas Thought...

2009-12-14T20:20:00.003-05:00

My niece wrote this poem several years ago. Thanks for your permission to print it, Kim!

What is Christmas

What is Christmas?

Is it candy, ornaments, and toys?

Is it for just little girls and boys?

Is it shimmering lights and sleigh bells?

Is it helping little children whose parents are in cells?

Is it shopping, parties, or money?

Is it spending time with your honey?

Is it rosy cheeks, Saint Nick, and elves?

Or has it become just about ourselves?

Is it the slishing and sloshing of snow?

I say, “No.”

It’s about a little child that came for us.
Not on a ship or a bus,

But carried by an unmarried teenager.

He was born in a barn and placed in a manger.

He wasn’t born with great glory and riches.

He was with animals and covered with a blanket of only a few stitches.

Why was He born so humble?

Why was His birth all a jumble?

So that He could show

Us how to go

And be His disciples.

Will you believe in what is made up and unreal?

Or will you believe in the One who came to restore and heal?

by: Kimberly Stout (2002)

Friday Fave

2009-11-20T16:21:00.002-05:00

My Friday fave: Spending time with my honey! I love you!

What I'm Contemplating on This Beautiful Fall Day

2009-11-14T14:39:00.002-05:00

I posted this on Facebook, too, and got some great feedback. Now it's you're turn, blogging friend!

What does it mean to truly give God all my heart? What will that feel like? And what will I be like when that happens???

The Journey Continues...

2009-10-24T14:22:00.002-04:00

I know, I know. I've been neglecting my blogs! I think of them often, but time is lacking. As my bloggy friends know, I'm back to work for the fall. I keep hoping that once I hit my "winter break" in a couple of months, I can get caught up on blogland once again.

I have to admit, too, that Facebook is a lot easier for me these days. I can be on there for about 5 minutes, let the world know I'm alive, and get on with the day. It has been nice to connect with some of my blogging friends there, too (Laurie, Laura, Paula, Lin, Harry, Mair, Patty, Janice, Pat, Cheryl, David, Keith, Keith...one of them is my hubby!).

Be assured, though, friends, I will not be away forever. I have had a passion to write since I was quite young. Can't get rid of me for too long!

God Is Faithful

2009-10-15T09:26:00.003-04:00

The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD,

And He delights in his way.

Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down;

For the LORD upholds him with His hand.

I have been young, and now am old;

Yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken,

Nor his descendants begging bread.

He is ever merciful, and lends;

And his descendants are blessed.

Psalm 37:23-26

One of Those "Mom" Things

2009-09-28T16:43:00.002-04:00

My oldest son left on his class trip to Washington, D.C. today. He'll be gone for about three days. I have to tell you...that was a hard goodbye for me! He has never gone to camp or anything like that. The longest I've been away from him is a couple of days, and he was always with relatives. This is definitely a new experience for all of us! He has already called me 4 times since he left this morning! His younger brother is missing him like crazy, too.

I know it will be a great experience for him...but I sure miss that boy!

Still Around

2009-09-12T14:09:00.005-04:00

I know I haven't been around much lately, but I'm still lurking in the shadows. LOL Seriously, though. A typical day begins with a quick shower, sort some laundry and start a load, breakfast, make my lunch, prayers with kids (and hubby, if he hasn't left for work already), finish getting ready for work, check on the laundry again...and out the door! Then, drop off kids (and hubby, too, sometimes) and to work. After work, I pick up the kiddos, then head home to do more laundry and get supper going. At some point, I try to relax some, then off to bed. Whew. I don't know how women who work full-time do all this, but it wears me out! :o)

On a totally different note.........

Yesterday was the 8th anniversary of the attacks that occurred on September 11, 2001. As I was growing up, people told me over and over that those (who were alive when JFK was shot) would never forget where they were when they heard the news. I never totally understood that until September 11th.

My husband had driven from our home in Sault Ste. Marie, MI, to Springfield, Missouri, to attend a week-long class at a seminary. I was home alone with our two young sons. I took our oldest to kindergarten, then headed home to start the day's housework. I decided to turn on the morning news, just to see what was happening in the world. As soon as I turned it on, I saw the first tower of the World Trade Center burning as a reporter explained that a plane had flown into it. I placed a call to my hubby and said, "You need to turn the TV on." While we were talking, we both watched in horror as another plane flew into the second tower. A short time later, I heard the news of the crash in Pennsylvania. The TV was on for the rest of the day.

That evening, our church held a prayer service. We needed to pray, and we needed each other. My husband had me phone him when we started, and I held the phone up to a microphone, so he could pray with all of us. The next few days went by in a blur. I have never liked being parted from my husband, but that was probably the longest week of my life.

And yet, I cannot imagine what it was like for those whose loved ones were in the planes, the buildings, or part of the rescue teams. Loved ones that left for work as usual on that sunny day, never to return again. My heart still grieves for them.

I truly cannot fathom the hatred of those who masterminded the attacks. Or those that carried them through. I am thankful that I serve the God of the universe, who is a God of mercy, grace, and forgiveness. This is the God who "did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved." (Jn. 3:17)

May God grant healing and grace to those who have lost so much...and to those who need the "eyes of their hearts" opened to Who He truly is...

Back to Life...

2009-09-03T10:49:00.002-04:00

The kids are in school. I'm back to work. Back to the busy-ness of the "real world!" Summer seems like a brief reprieve from life for me. But now I have to dig in and get back to it.

Hope all my bloggy friends are well!

A Thankful Heart

2009-08-20T11:11:00.003-04:00

Image from www.fineartamerica.com

"A faithful friend is a sturdy shelter; he who finds one finds a treasure."

- Sirach 6:14

Just sitting here, thanking God for all the wonderful friends He has given me. I am truly blessed with treasures beyond measure!

.

Where In the World???

2009-08-18T21:30:00.003-04:00

I haven't disappeared into the background, like that wily Waldo fella. I've actually had some wonderful ideas for blog posts. They just haven't appeared on my blog!

The truth is: I've become a Facebook junkie! I vowed it wouldn't happen. But it did. As so many of my friends and relatives have said: It's addictive! I have reconnected with people I haven't seen since my childhood. (Seriously! The man who pastored my home church when I was just a little tyke of 4 or 5 years of age is one of my friends!) I have found friends that I had given up on. So much time had passed without contact. One is living in Slovenia! (And if you know where that is, please inform!)

I originally thought: This is less time-consuming than maintaining a blog (or two). After all, I only have to put a one- or two-sentence "status update" on my profile page, and I'm done for the day. WRONG! I have to read all the funny little ditties everyone else has posted, plus the comments left by their friends. And then, there are all the great (and some not-so-great) pictures everyone downloads! (The pig roast picture of a whole pig roasting...nasty!) Who knew how many hours it could consume in one day???

I have to admit, though, that I do NOT like the drivel posts: "I just had my coffee." Fifteen minutes later: "Brushed my teeth." Five minutes later: "Fed the dog." You know what I mean?

Or the endless surveys, quizzes, questionnaires, etc. I do NOT need to know what I would look like as a cartoon. Real life is scary enough! I do NOT want to know what Harry Potter character I am most like (I don't even read the books!). I do NOT want to know how much I know about 70's TV/music/pop culture. I lived it once, and that was enough, thank you! You get the picture.

There are definitely drawbacks to it. Like the aforementioned drivel and endless nonsense. Also, there is the subject of being ignored by people who want me as their FB friends, but do NOT want to update me on their private lives. I'm never sure if I should be offended, or if I should be flattered that they care that much about my opinion??? Like my opinion is a big deal? Or, the people I wasn't planning to reconnect with. Or people I barely knew in the first place, but now consider me fair game to chat with, every time I'm online, because I am not one of their very dearest friends...

Still, overall, it has been a good experience. There is something so wonderful about seeing the words: "I am so happy to be back in touch with you after all these years!" Or, better yet, "I can tell from your profile picture that you haven't changed a bit!" (I'll take the flattery, thank you very much!)

The sad truth is, my summer hiatus is almost at an end. On Monday, my kids return to school, and I return to work. My summer fling with Facebook is about to come to an end. Real life is coming back in a rush.

But...

If you happen to be online, and are a FB junkie, too...feel free to look me up! :o)

A Tribute

2009-08-11T16:48:00.004-04:00

Please pray for the family and friends of Roosevelt Hunter, who passed away after a battle with colon cancer.

We knew Roosevelt back in the early days of our marriage. He and Tim Dilena were co-pastors of Revival Tabernacle in Highland Park, MI. Roosevelt had the most infectious laugh (think: Ernie on Sesame Street). He had a passion for the lost. He was full of zeal for God and His Word. He was one of God's rare gems. My heart goes out to Ilene and their children.

You were one of His best, Roosevelt. You will truly be missed.

Seeing With His Eyes

2009-08-09T16:09:00.004-04:00

Have you ever had one of those times when a person/people or a situation caused your heart to hurt...a burden from the Holy Spirit caused almost a physical ache within you?

I have had those moments off and on throughout my lifetime. Most of the time, it was caused by seeing something on TV. Or being aware of a desperate situation in someone's life. Seeing photos of children dying of starvation or cancer. Knowing a friend was lonely, or facing a terrifying diagnosis. Being on a missions trip, and realizing the people I was ministering to could not go home to get away from their circumstances. This was their home. Their reality.

I had another of those moments yesterday. It had been a great day. We got to have an unexpected visit with my sister-in-law, her children, her parents, and her sister. (They were traveling through our area. We got to have lunch. A sweet blessing from God!) Afterward, we decided to head over to the local Barnes & Noble, as our outdoor plans were changed by the steady rain.

As I perused the shelves, I was looking for a particular section. The store had been rearranged, though, so I was not finding what I was looking for. However, I did find what God wanted me to see. I passed the "Religion" and "Christianity" sections, and was walking past the aisle labeled "New Age." As I did, I noticed three young people (late teens or early 20's) staring intently at the shelves. Picking up a book, then replacing it, only to pick up another to look at. My heart wrenched within me. I whispered a silent prayer right there: "O Holy Spirit, they are only 2 aisles away from books that could show them Your truth! Open their hearts! Open the eyes of their spirits! Guide them past the lies and to the truth!"

The words to this song by Brandon Heath kept replaying in my mind for the rest of the day. (If you don't want to watch the YouTube version, the lyrics are below.)

I don't know what your eyes need to see today. I do know that each of us, as Christians, need to see the world through the eyes of God. We need to care as much about the condition of someone's soul as we do about meeting their physical needs. I think it's easier sometimes to hand someone a bag of groceries than it is to truly give them living water. It soothes our conscience temporarily. And it is important that our message of truth be coupled with actions of charity. But for some reason, it is often harder for me to see someone as He sees them. It is easier to see a needy person, give them something to get them on their way, and feel as if I've done "my part". It needs to be a balance of both: word and action. With that in mind, reflect on these lyrics. The world so desperately needs us to live out our faith!

Looked down from a broken sky
Traced out by the city lights
My world from a mile high
Best seat in the house tonight
Touched down on the cold black top
Hold on for the sudden stop
Breathe in the familiar shock
Of confusion and chaos
All those people going somewhere,
Why have I never cared?

Chorus:
Give me your eyes for just one second
Give me your eyes so I can see
Everything that I keep missing
Give me your love for humanity
Give me your arms for the broken hearted
Ones that are far beyond my reach.
Give me your heart for the ones forgotten
Give me your eyes so I can see
Yeah
Yeah
yeah
yeah

Step out on a busy street
See a girl and our eyes meet
Does her best to smile at me
To hide what's underneath
There's a man just to her right
Black suit and a bright red tie
Too ashamed to tell his wife
He's out of work
He's buying time
All those people going somewhere
Why have I never cared?

I've Been there a million times
A couple of million eyes
Just moving past me by
I swear I never thought that I was wrong
Well I want a second glance
So give me a second chance
To see the way you see the people all along

The Real Serenity Prayer

2009-08-04T10:04:00.003-04:00

I have heard the Serenity Prayer over and over. I have seen it on greeting cards, plaques, mugs, and a multitude of other gift items. (I used to work in a Christian bookstore...I've seen it everywhere!) Last night, I came across the entire prayer, which I had never seen before. I hope it blesses you as much as it blessed me!

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time; enjoying one moment at a time; accepting hardship as the pathway to peace. Taking as Jesus did this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His will; that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him for ever in the next."

~Reinhold Niebuhr

Now THAT is a serenity prayer!

Happy Tuesday, friends!

Saint Martha

2009-07-29T12:52:00.003-04:00

Today is the memorial for Saint Martha, sister of Mary and Lazarus. Whenever we hear of Mary and Martha, most of us automatically think of Martha's conversation with Jesus. She was perturbed that Mary was not helping her prepare a meal for her guests (Jesus and His disciples). Mary was, instead, sitting at Jesus' feet--listening to Him teach. Jesus' response to Martha is well known: " 'Martha, Martha, you are anxious and worried about many things. There is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part and it will not be taken from her.' " (Luke 10:38-42)

The picture here is how most of us picture Martha. Pestering Jesus, and busy about her meal preparations.

That is how I often picture myself. Busy, busy, busy. And frustrated with anyone who isn't as busy as I am! I long to be as Mary...sitting quietly at the feet of my Lord. Learning from Him.
Who wants to be like Martha, who received a scolding from Jesus?

And yet...

If we read another passage, in John, we get a completely different picture of Martha. Mary and Martha's brother Lazarus had just died. Jesus and His disciples were on their way to Bethany to comfort the sisters. Martha meets Jesus on the road (always a woman of action!) and says, "If You had been here, my brother would not have died. However, I know even now that whatever You ask of God, He will do." Jesus promises Martha: "Your brother will rise." Martha, still not quite understanding, replies, "I know he will be resurrected on the last day." Jesus makes it plain to her: "I am the resurrection and the life! Anyone who believes in Me will have life!" Martha's response is so incredible. A true proclamation of faith: "Yes, Lord. I have come to believe that You are the Christ, the Son of God, the one who is coming into the world." Wow. She made an amazing announcement to any who was nearby!

It seems obvious that some heart changes had taken place in Martha since the earlier encounter at her home. She had learned a great deal from her times spent with Jesus.

This is the Martha I desire to imitate. The one who knows who Jesus truly is, and trusts Him implicitly. Not too busy any longer to wait to see what Jesus will do for her. Not "anxious and worried" about many things, but willing to simply trust Jesus. And willing to proclaim to all that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God!

Changes

2009-07-21T16:08:00.001-04:00

Yep, I'm trying a new template...new profile pic...

I have no idea how to truly customize my blog. I just have to use what Blogger provides.

I may go back to my "dots" eventually...but you just never know!

Hidden Dirt

2009-07-21T10:54:00.002-04:00

The topic of my previous post was on "hidden work." That no matter how insignificant, meaningless, or mundane our work may seem...it is all to be done for God's glory. But there are other "hidden things" in our life that need to be dealt with as well.

While the boys and I were cleaning house last week, in preparation for visitors, I emphasized to them several times to do their jobs thoroughly. As I'm sure you have experienced, "thoroughly" to a 13 year old and a 9 year old means something completely different than it means to me! When we washed our car one day, my constant reminder was, "Every inch must be cleaned boys! Every inch!" On the aforementioned cleaning day, it had more to do with dust on furniture and dust balls behind doors. Then there was the scrubbing of the kitchen floor. And the response to my insistent pleas for complete cleanliness? "If no one can see it, why does it matter? Why do you want the house to be perfect, Mom?"

The answer to those questions came to me later, as I was scrubbing out my kitchen sink. When I removed the drainer, I discovered some hidden "gunk" that I had no idea was lurking in my sink. It was hidden by one of the little legs of the drainer. No one could see it, but there was a small bit of mold growing under that leg. Left to itself, it could grow to be a bigger problem. And do I want that on my clean dishes? UGH! Obviously not!

It got me to thinking about the hidden gunk we have in our lives. Those "secret sins" no one else really knows about. They are just little things, after all. And no one else knows about them. The little buggers aren't affecting anyone else, so why does it matter?

For the same reason our hidden works matter: "God sees." In Matthew 6, Jesus warns his followers not to "practice their piety" before men, in order to be seen by them. They shouldn't give their alms to impress others. They shouldn't fast or pray to draw attention to their own spirituality. The reason, "your Father who sees in secret will reward you." (vs. 4, 6, 18) But I believe the reverse is true. If the Father sees our secret works and rewards them, He also sees our secret sins...right? In another passage, the writer reminds us that "there is nothing hidden that will not be revealed." All secret sins will, in one way or another, at some time, be revealed. Whether it is in this life or not until the Judgment, it will take place.

Just like that hidden bit of mold, our secret sins do not remain static. They don't just sit there and remain small. They grow. Unless they are rooted out and confessed, they will become even more deadly to our spiritual well-being. Until I sprayed that nasty bit of gunk with some hefty 409 "gunk killer," it was on its way to becoming a larger bit of gunk. The more it grew, the more of the sink it would have affected. The more the dust balls accumulate, the more they will affect my family's allergies. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow, but eventually.

It's so easy to try to excuse the "little," hidden sins in our lives. But really, is anything that creates any distance at all between us and God really small? In Scripture, we are admonished to "be perfect as your heavenly Father is perfect." That leaves no room for even "small" sins, does it?

A little heavy for this lovely Tuesday day, I guess. But that's what's on my heart today. As always, I cherish your thoughts.

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On a side note: Thank you for your continued prayers for our pastor, Fr. Joe. He is still recuperating, but making progress. We are so thankful to the Lord for His continued work of healing in Fr. Joe's body. Please keep up the prayers!

Hidden Work

2009-07-16T09:36:00.003-04:00

Today I read a story in a devotional about a team of young adults working on a project at a deaf school. This school was in a very impoverished country. The team's project one day was to paint the back of a building. The only people who would ever see the back of the building were the person who cut the grass, and anyone who would ever have to work on the septic pit behind the building. It would have been tempting for these young adults to just slop some paint on the wall and move on to some other project that was more visible. Yet one of the girls said, "Nobody will ever come back here to see this, but God will see it. So let's make it look nice."

A lot of what we do in our lives will never be seen by crowds--never receive great acclaim. Many of us have jobs that seem insignificant or tedious...very "behind the scenes" type stuff. It's tempting to think that we can just "get by" because what we do doesn't really matter, in the big scheme of things. As the author of the devotional noted, "But if that is what God has called us to do, we need to work with all our heart." Some would say, "God hasn't really called me to scrub this toilet." Or, "I'm only doing this temporarily, until I can do what God has actually called me to do." And that is really missing the point! God has called all of us to do whatever we do with all our might, as unto Him. Our aim in life is to always please God, whether anyone else can see what we're doing or not.

Whether our work is public or private...whether it is on the street or behind a building..."the important thing is that God likes what He sees."

Quotes taken from Our Daily Bread, July 16. Author: David Branon

The Big Va-K

2009-07-14T09:56:00.009-04:00

Well, we survived our trip out to Kansas! There was never really any doubt, right? LOL

We left bright and early on the 1st, and drove as far as Columbia, MO. There's a certain motel we stay in every time, because it's right next to a Cracker Barrel. We do looove Cracker Barrel's food! The only glitch of the evening was a family get-together at the motel. Some folks were having a reunion or something, and EVERYONE was staying at our motel. They were enjoying each other's company quite a bit...especially around 12:30 in the morning! Then, after that quieted down, the people in the room above us decided to do their morning drill routine at 5 a.m. Not marching, folks. STOMPING! Wow, was it loud!

We made it the rest of the way to my mom and dad's without incident. When we arrived, my sister (from Colorado) and her family were there, too. My kids and hubby finally got to meet Isaiah and a niece's husband...and we all got to meet miss Elyssa. Let me tell you, the kids are even cuter in person!

The next day, the whole crew was together. The only family member unable to be there was my brother-in-law from Colorado. We missed him! And we all had such a good time together. That afternoon, several of us made the journey into Greensburg. I have to tell you, the residents are making great progress. But it's still very hard to be there. It's just so surreal. It's never going to be the same again...

The next day, we went into Mullinville, the town where I attended school K-12, for the all-school reunion. It was also the 125th anniversary of Mullinville! We watched the parade (my youngest son got pocketfuls of candy!), and spent time seeing people I hadn't seen in over 20 years. It was really great to get back in touch with so many people. Being from a small town, we were all like a big, extended family. So, it was almost as if I had two family reunions this weekend!

I spent most of that afternoon with my cousin Sandy. Sandy and I grew up together, and have always been close friends. We even roomed together in college. That was precious time to me, to reunite with her and catch up on life. Later in the afternoon, we walked through the high school together, noting changes...and things that never change.

That evening, after a hamburger fry put on by the local volunteer fire department, we got to enjoy the fireworks. It was neat seeing my whole family (except the one brother-in-law) enjoying the fireworks together!

Sunday was a bit of a "down time" day. After we all returned from church and had lunch, it was NAP TIME! :o) We did have some late afternoon visits from relatives and friends, but overall, it was a pretty quiet day.

Monday (6th) was another busy day. The Colorado crew came and visited again, as we were all heading back to our respective corners of the country the next day.

The trip back home was pretty uneventful, too. We always stop in St. Charles, MO, on our way home. It is a really neat area. If you're ever in St. Louis, you should definitely check out the historic district in St. Charles. The river area is especially worth visiting, if you're a history buff!

We arrived back home on Wed., July 8th, exhausted, but rejuvenated and full of new memories made. Thank you all for your prayers. God truly watched over us!

As a side note, check out my hubby's blog. He is doing a neat devotional series right now over at One Pilgrim.

Prayers, Please!

2009-06-29T20:10:00.003-04:00

Wednesday, we will be heading west for the next round of vacation travel. It's about a 20-hour drive. We break it up into two days...still, that's a lot of driving!

Please keep our family in your prayers, and I'll report back when we return.

A Life Well-Lived

2009-06-26T10:06:00.005-04:00

As everyone is already aware, the pop star Michael Jackson died yesterday. It has caused shock waves around the world. In spite of all the turmoil over allegations of child abuse, etc., in recent years--and in spite of the obvious alterations to his appearance over time--his popularity has continued. From what I understand, he was preparing for an upcoming tour. The concerts set for Europe have been sold out for months. He has had a following since he was a young boy, singing with the Jackson Five. And yet...

Did the fame and money bring him happiness? Was he surrounded by loved ones when he died? Did he know peace? If one were to judge by the outward signs, it would seem that the answer to all of those questions is a resounding NO. It's so sad.

Another death that occurred yesterday was that of Farrah Fawcett. I remember the hoards of young men who clamored for her pictures and posters after "Charlie's Angels" came on the scene. She was definitely a beauty, with the body to go with the face. And yet...

Her marriage to Lee Majors ended in a divorce. Her looks, body, and money could not stop the effects of the cancer which eventually took her life. Was she happy and peaceful? Hard to say. I know that I was so saddened to see pictures of her, as the cancer treatments, time, and age marred the beauty of her younger years.

It all causes me to ponder a few things. For one, the lives of those placed into stardom's bright light certainly are nothing close to normal. It is highly unusual to hear of a marriage that lasts more than one or two years. It is "normal" to hear of the children of stars, or child stars themselves, getting into all kinds of trouble with sex, drugs, alcohol, etc. It is not unusual to hear of affairs. The list could go on, but I'm sure you would concur. What a sad lifestyle. And to have it plastered all over the Internet, television, and newsstands...incredibly difficult to deal with one's life problems in that context.

And it also leads me to this thought: How important is a life well-lived? My kids are at VBS this week. Each year, they study the heroes of our faith. As they learned about Mother Teresa yesterday, they learned the importance of a life of giving to those who are "the least" among us. Caring in love for the sick and dying was Mother Teresa's life mission. She did not seek fame (though there are few in the world who have never heard her name). She sought only to minister to others. She didn't seek money. She was a small little woman, with no "Hollywood look" about her at all. Her thoughts on having the riches of this world? "Even the rich are hungry for love, for being cared for, for being wanted, for having someone to call their own."

And that, my friends, is a life well-lived. It is one we would all do well to ponder and imitate. For in the end, the only claim to fame we should desire are the words of the greatest Hero of all: "Well done, thou good and faithful servant."

I do not sit in judgment over Michael or Farrah. I cannot imagine the pressures of the lives of those in the spotlight. And, as Mother Teresa once said, "If you judge people, you have no time to love them." I only know that what the famous have is not my desire.

May we all strive for the "life well-lived" and to remember these words of Mother Teresa as well: "Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies."

Vacation Adventures

2009-06-22T19:54:00.002-04:00

Thanks to all who sent anniversary and "happy vacation" wishes!

We headed to Michigan about 1 1/2 weeks ago. We spent the weekend with my in-laws. We went to our niece's open house. That was a great time of seeing friends and family members we haven't seen for quite a long time.

Monday was an interesting day. I had only planned to do some laundry and re-pack. As it turned out, my mother-in-law got sick that morning. Thankfully, by noon, she was feeling much better.

Hubby and I headed north on Tuesday morning, leaving the kiddos with their grandparents. We stopped off in Frankenmuth, MI, another of my most favorite places to visit! We didn't do much, but really enjoyed the time to just walk around, look in the stores, and just be together. We left there and went on to the in-laws' cottage. The boys and the in-laws joined us there that evening.

After a night of little sleep (4 people in one bedroom...), hubby and I headed north again on Wed. (our 20th anniversary!). It was raining (pouring at times), but by the time we got to Mackinaw City, it was only overcast. We boarded the ferry in St. Ignace, and got to the island before noon. Anyone who knows me, knows I don't do well on little sleep. My nerves were bad that day. I felt a little better by the time we got over to the island, though. While touring St. Anne's Church, I suddenly got very, very sick. Thankfully, some parishioners were meeting there at the time, and one of the women was a nurse! She assisted me to the ladies' restroom, and made sure I got a cool cup of water. Someone else made sure my hubby knew where I was. After about half an hour, I was doing much better, and we went on our way.

We spent the night at our bed n' breakfast, which was just okay. I must definitely say, too, that the food choices in St. Ignace are not the greatest. Our food was overpriced, and not very tasty. We did take a nice walk along the boardwalk afterward, though. It's right on the water, and a nice way spend an evening! We also walked over to St. Ignatius of Loyola Church, and enjoyed being in the quiet of the church for awhile. It was beautiful.

The breakfast we were served the next morning was excellent. We had fruit cups with strawberries and bananas, followed by some type of egg dish, baked into a shell of Canadian bacon. Hard to describe, but very yummy! This was served with a side of ham and English muffin toast (bread that tastes similar to sour dough bread). Very, very good! And the service was excellent, too.

We headed south after checking out, and stopped in Indian River, at the Cross in the Woods Shrine. We stayed for noon Mass, had lunch at McDonald's, then headed back to the folks' cottage. When we got into town, we called ahead to see what they were up to. They were just about to take the boys on a boat ride. They held up for awhile, until we got there, and we all enjoyed a couple of rides around the lake. That evening, we had a wonderful roast dinner, then tried to have a campfire. I say tried, because the wood was still wet from the previous day's rain. We were able to get enough of a flame to roast a few marshmallows...but that's about it. Hubby and the boys played a little "baseball," then we headed the kiddos to bed.

We stayed about 1 1/2 days longer at the cottage, then headed back south to the Detroit area. Near the end of our trip, we got into some heavy traffic congestion on I-96, which was caused by construction. A few miles past the end of that construction, we were almost to the I-275 exit. A sign said, "275 traffic, keep right." So we did. However, shortly before the actual exit, we saw a flashing arrow...followed by barrels in our lane! Hubby's dad hit his brakes, then maneuvered around the barrels. We tried to do the same. We were coming to a stop, when suddenly we heard a loud screech, followed by two crashing sounds, and then we were hit! The impact forced the front of our car into the back of my in-laws van. SCARY! After a couple of seconds, we all got out to check out the damage, etc. Thankfully, my kids and in-laws were unharmed, as were both of us. Our vehicles didn't even show any real damage. However, the three vehicles behind us were not so fortunate. The car behind us had a little front-end damage, but the back of her car was demolished. The van behind her had more front-end damage, but the back of their van was smashed. The big van behind them...the front was a mess. The great thing, though, was that no one was seriously injured. A kind man had pulled over to see if all of us were okay, and to make sure the police were called (I had already called 9-1-1, though). In a few minutes, a pickup stopped. An off-duty police officer jumped out with his emergency pack and ran along the vehicles to make sure we were all okay, too. He stayed until the state police showed up. Also, a passing van full of guys hollered out to us, "Do you need us to call for help?" A couple of people from the one van did go in an ambulance, just to have some bumps checked out. Overall, though, it turned out much better than it could have, considering the amount of traffic and the situation!

Needless to say, by the time we arrived back at my in-laws' home, we were all pretty shaken up. Thankful, though, to be sure!

We spent a relaxing Father's Day morning attending church, having lunch, and then watching an episode of Perry Mason together (a new favorite of my kids now!). Then we headed home...and, thankfully, it was an uneventful trip!

So there it all is, in a nutshell. Next week...we head to Kansas!

Extreme?

2009-06-10T15:30:00.004-04:00

I just read this story on Yahoo! News. As you probably already know, abortionist George Tiller was murdered about 1 1/2 weeks ago. As usual, the pro abortion camp has made this a political issue, lashing out against pro-lifers as "extremists."

The group Operation Rescue has discussed buying the building Tiller used as his clinic. In response, the Tiller family's attorney said: " 'I'm just not going to respond to every irreverent publicity stunt or comment by these extremists,' said...Dan Monnat."

Buying a building is a publicity stunt? What???

The response from Troy Newman, president of Operation Rescue: " 'We would love to see that place established as a center for life, one that nurtures and cares for babies, rather than taking their lives,' Newman said of Tiller's former clinic." Sounds more like reclaiming a territory for God to me! (Brings to mind the book of Joshua!)

Dr. Tiller (and I used the title with some trepidation, as doctors are sworn to protect and preserve life, not take it) was definitely an extreme man with extreme views. Killing babies for any reason is murder. Killing them in the third trimester of pregnancy? Brutal and Hitler-ish.

But for someone to murder him? As one of my sons said: "If they are pro-life why would they murder someone?" The ends do not justify the means. If someone claims to be pro-life, they should be pro ALL life. Right?

The early Church was a shining example of this. They were persecuted and afflicted in ways we cannot even begin to fathom. Yet they showed love to the very end of their lives. (This is one thing that has always bothered me about the movie, "The Robe." I love the movie, except the scene where the Christians basically start a riot to break one of their own free from prison. Killing Roman soldiers was NOT the way Christians dealt with their persecutors!)

So as the Church today, we should show love in every situation, too. Taking a man's life is not how we promote LIFE!

And yet, we still must take extreme measures at times to protect life.

Your thoughts?

Good News

2009-06-06T13:10:00.001-04:00

Fr. Joe's intubation (ventilator) has been removed, and they are working to get his lungs to do their job again. Praise God!

New Update

2009-06-03T15:42:00.003-04:00

I don't really have much new to tell you on Fr. Joe's condition. He is slowly making very small improvements. He is still considered in critical, but stable condition. Thank you for your continued prayers. He has a long road to recovery ahead of him. Please pray for our parish, too. As you can imagine, this is difficult for all of us.

We had a prayer service for him last Thursday. We are having another one this Thursday, June 4, at 8:30 p.m. EDT. Please join us in praying!

Thanks again for all your prayers and words of encouragement.

Father Joe

2009-06-01T14:19:00.001-04:00

He is still in critical, but stable condition. Your prayers mean so much. I'll try to give more updates as I'm able. THANK YOU for praying!